Navigating a Plant-Based Diet & Lifestyle with Confidence
How to Navigate Uncomfortable Conversations Using Neurolinguistic Programming Techniques
I help people adopt a sustainable plant-based lifestyle for a living. One of the most valuable tools I teach is how to navigate the nay-sayer convos. When people feel empowered by their thoughts and can speak to them efficiently, magic happens! I’m going to begin to dig into how the magic occurs.
Magicians are never supposed to reveal their tricks… but lucky for you, NLP isn’t a trick. Rather, NLP seeks to create positive change through repatterning communication.
So what is NLP, anyways? NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. “Neuro” refers to an individual’s neurology. “Linguistic” refers to the language an individual uses.“Programming” refers to how the neural language is working/serving the individual. My favorite way NLP is explained is, “the language of your own mind.”
NLP was developed as a therapeutic technique. The purpose of the technique is to detect (and then preprogram) unconscious thought patterns. When ill-serving thoughts are reprogrammed, there is space for new behavioral patterns to occur. Simply stated, new thoughts alter psychological responses.
New thoughts = new behaviors = new results.
The language we use is an indicator of our thought processes. Our language provides a way to signal to outside sources what our needs, thoughts, and desires are. Here’s an example: you are traveling and go to a restaurant where you do not know the local language. You ordered what you thought was a tofu noodle dish, except the server brought out a steamed squid. Uh oh. The language used didn’t serve it’s purpose because the end result wasn’t the desired one… where’s the tofu noodles?!
The point here is this, the language going on in her head is shaping our reality. If we let our unconscious minds run amok they resemble a toddler with a knife… things are probably going to get a little weird and someone may end up hurt.
How we think about happiness, money, a clean bill of health or our intimate relationships is the first barrier to entry (or fast-track depending how you look at it) to get exactly what it is we desire. If we don’t have fulfilling lives in whatever categories we are striving for, then there is a good chance something is getting translated poorly from our unconscious mind to the conscious mind.
People who identify as having some type of mental health ailment has skyrocketed in the past decade. At this point, everyone can agree our thoughts play a significant role in health and wellness. Individuals with depression, for example, have a 40% higher risk of developing cardiovascular and metabolic diseases than the general population. (1) Another frightening statistic… suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for people ages 10–34. (2)
Time for some good news. NLP is a tool to help advance health and contribute to healing by managing the human mind. There are various tools within NLP used to create a deep sense of peace and calm. Where calm lives, chaos cannot. Imagine being able to do a quick drill or think a new thought and unwind stress, one of the biggest causes for physical and mental health issues!
The first step to making a tangible life change is to ensure your unconscious mind is working for you. Let’s start with cleaning out some old limiting beliefs you may or may not recognize you have.
We’ve all heard how non-veg people approach plant-based convos… with limiting beliefs and negative mindsets. Oftentimes people will state things such as:
“I could never do that.”
“Vegan is a noble cause but humans are meant to eat animals.”
“I was raised on meat.”
“Eggs and milk are a part of my culture.”
“I would try plant-based but I can’t because of *insert excuse here.*”
“My parents/friends/family would never support my decision if I adopted a plant-based diet.”
“We need amino acids and protein from meat to survive.”
Real change starts at a subconscious level. Sometimes limiting beliefs are disguised as “facts.” For example, if you grew up in the United States, there is a good chance you’ve seen the commercials and advertisements for milk. Slogans like:
Got Milk?
Dairy is a Building Block of Life
Have You Had Your Dairy Today?
It does a body good!
Occupy milk! Drink the 1%!
Milk from Moo to You
Dairy is Part of a Balanced Diet.
Milk Looks Good on You
Have You Ever Wondered Why Cows Are So Healthy?
All You Need is Milk.
Why drink anything else?
^A few of these slogans may sound like facts. There used to be an old myth (that some people still believe — whether that’s consciously or subconsciously) that humans need to drink dairy milk to get calcium and build strong bones. Now we know it’s possible to get all the calcium needed from a healthy whole-food plant-based diet. More research has come out showing the highest dairy-consuming countries, like the US, have the highest rates of osteoporosis. If you’ve never heard of osteoporosis before, it’s a medical condition where the bones lose tissue and become brittle — this typically is a result of hormonal changes and/or a calcium or vitamin D deficiency.
The important thing to note here is that there is a difference between limiting beliefs and facts. A fact is something known to be proven or true. A limiting belief is a thought which constrains us in some way. A fact could also be a limiting belief, as they are not mutually exclusive.
Here’s an example: eggs have protein (fact). However, this fact can be a limiting belief when it is put into a constraining context. Let’s use Sam* (names have been changed), a nutrition client of mine who is a professional swimmer. Sam knew eggs contained protein and was told repeatedly growing up that she needed protein to be able to grow and maintain her strength and stamina in the water. Sam wanted to try a plant-based diet but had shied away because she didn’t want to “give up” the 4 hard-boiled eggs she ate for breakfast each morning. The limiting belief Sam had was that without eating eggs, she wouldn’t be able to swim competitively anymore. So by believing the fact of “eggs have protein,” Sam was also preventing herself from trying new protein-dense sources of food because of her limiting belief around what would happen to her performance if she made a change.
The goal becomes creating awareness of limiting beliefs and actively doing the work to change them through internal thinking strategies. I love the phrase, “learning to manage our minds”. By consciously reprogramming our subconscious, we are able to let go of any patterns holding us back.
It’s time to make a plan. CEO’s plan how they want to run their businesses. Healthy-eaters plan the meals they are going to eat. Uber drivers prepare their schedules so they know the hours they will be driving. How frequently do you hear people talking about how to plan their LIFE? Oftentimes people don’t plan because it can be intimidating knowing we hold all of the power and responsibility for achieving the plan by making our desires known, doing the hard gritty work and uncovering strengths and weaknesses. Some people don’t make a plan or take time to explore their subconscious and limiting beliefs because they’ve never learned how (which is ok — now is the best time to learn!) The goal of an NLP plan (read: a way to upgrade thinking) is to accomplish more of what you desire and regain control of your own life.
Here’s a “simple” way to plan — get clear on what it is you want and stay laser-focused on it. If something doesn’t go the way you expected, adjust. The only constant in life is change. Go ahead, take some time to think or write down what it is you WANT. The following are ways to begin to ensure you’re moving closer to what it is you want.
DISSOCIATE
Ever heard the phrase, “trust your gut!” What that means is, believe your intuition. Sometimes our bodies provide us with more clear answers than our minds can. Our brains run all the new information we receive through past filters of experience, education, beliefs, etc. If you’ve got a bad feeling, there’s a good chance your body is giving you a visceral signal of something your mind hasn’t yet grasped.
So you’ve got the warning sign… now what? Take a moment to dissociate. The first step is to identify the emotion you’re experiencing. For this example, let’s say you’re feeling annoyed that someone you know just found out you eat a plant-based diet and they are saying things like, “you’re going to die of a protein deficiency” and “what if you were stranded on a deserted island… would you kill animals then?” The feelings here could be anger or annoyance. Step 1 is to name the feeling. For this example, let’s stick with the feeling of annoyance.
Step two requires stepping outside of yourself and looking at the situation from an outside perspective. Has the feeling changed? It should feel much less intense when you’re looking at yourself from a perspective other than the one you’re experiencing. Stepping outside of yourself allows for dissociation from the negative emotion. Once we are in a clearer state of mind (and not bogged down by annoyance or negative emotion in general) it becomes much easier to reframe and create a plan.
REFRAME
Reframing a situation empowers the individual to make meaning of the experience and mold it into a more desirable outcome. From our example with the person continually questioning or making unkind/unhelpful remarks about a plant-based diet and lifestyle, a reframe could look something like this.
“This person isn’t out to get me. Rather, this person is feeling a negative emotion (maybe insecure or unaligned with their own nutrition choices). Instead of feeling annoyed and reacting harshly back, I could use this opportunity to educate them or walk away and have a discussion when they are less heated.”
Regardless of what choice is made, by dissociating and reframing, there is more room to make a choice that is empowering and leads to a more desirable outcome. You’ve arrived at a place of more clarity and intent. Good for you!
BUILD RAPPORT
Building rapport is a type of NLP technique that uses subtle mirroring techniques to match the other person’s body language, speech, and tone of voice. This technique can be incredibly effective because people like to feel connected and are quicker to trust people who act like them.
Let’s take an example of navigating a lunch event that serves both plant-based and animal-based options. Imagine you only eat whole plant foods and are sitting across from someone who has a big plate of dead animals, eggs, and dairy-filled desserts. Your first reaction may be distaste or to ignore this person altogether. But the flesh-eater notices your plate filled with veggies and legumes and makes a snarky remark like, “how’s that rabbit food?” or “why don’t you just eat a burger already?”
You have a few options here — ignore the person, make a snarky comment back, or approach the conversation with good intentions (we are going to choose the latter). If the person is sitting tall waiting for your response, you could sit up a little straighter too. If they have a little smile on their face (they may have thought their “joke” was funny or they are trying to get a reaction from you), trying smiling a little too. The key here is not to mock or full-blown copy someone, rather, mirror their expressions in a way that is subtle.
Next, try answering their questions with a question back to them. “I bet you’d really enjoy this lentil lasagna… would you like me to go get you some?” or “It’s interesting you’re so interested in my lunch. Would you like to try a bite?” The important thing is to create a subtle unconscious rapport. For even more success, make sure to stay calm and present.
LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE
Once you feel like you’ve got a better grasp on your own subconscious, it’s time to begin to help change the world for the better. Influence is defined as the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something. Leadership is defined as the action of leading a group of people or an organization. It’s easy to have all of the desire to change the world for the better, however, unless steps are actually being taken to positively lead and influence others than the desire remains just that… a desire.
NLP is pervaded with tools to help overcome limiting beliefs and negative emotions and thought patterns. That being said, it can also be used to ethically influence our peers. The goal of a plant-based lifestyle is to create thriving health and well-being for humans and eliminate the needless cruelty and suffering of animals. If you’re reading this and would like to begin to have a more effective and positive change on plant-based living, it’s imperative to begin understanding how the way we interact with our own minds translates into interactions with others.
I challenge you to use some of the tools we’ve discussed here to begin to:
- Manage your own mind. Question the limiting beliefs that may come up for you and begin to reprogram beliefs that move you closer to your end goals.
- Make a plan and brainstorm your desires. The fastest way to get somewhere is to program the desired destination into your internal GPS. Do you want to empower others to quit eating animal products? Do you want to improve your health and the health of your friends and family? Do you want to save animals and the environment by implementing sustainable dietary and lifestyle practices? All of this is admirable, however, it will only happen once you’re clear on what it is you’re striving for.
- Become a leader in your own circle of life. Use your newly found (read: created) confidence and tools to help positively influence those around you. You are a beacon of light and possibility. A tribe of any kind is only as strong as its weakest member. Use your strength to help lift those who need it the most.
Onwards!
-Coach Rebecca
P.S. This is just a taste of some of the tools and psychology behind plant-based. If you’re interested in diving deeper, I offer an educational and interactive course called 90 Days to Plant-Based where you learn how to adopt a sustainable plant-based diet and lifestyle. I’d be honored to be a part of your journey. ❤
www.rconlinecoaching.com
